Life is happening now, in the present moment. Yet, how many “One day when…” fixations do you have? Despite all the beauty, opportunities, and lessons that today has to offer, let’s get real: Do you find yourself staring at the horizon and ignoring the intricate details of the journey?
I’m going to guess you’ve caught yourself saying things like:
“One day when I lose the weight, I’ll finally feel confident.”
“One day when I have money, I’ll start traveling the world.”
“One day when I sign clients, I’ll prove my worth.”
It’s like living in a holding pattern, waiting for the stars to align before you step on the stage of your life. It makes you think that certain conditions must be met or circumstances must be a specific way before you can start achieving your goals.
But here’s the kicker: this mindset of “One day when…” tricks you into believing that happiness and success only exist in some unknown, distant future and it’s simply untrue.
“One day when…” is a comforting illusion that shields you from embracing the opportunities of the present moment. It underestimates the power of consistent, incremental actions. By waiting for a monumental change, you miss out on the gradual transformation that comes from persistent effort.
Recognizing and challenging this mindset is a key step toward reclaiming your power, embracing the journey you’re currently on, and making progress (starting today) to moving forward toward your dreams.
The Illusion of “One Day When…”
You see, your mind loves routine and familiarity. Stepping out of the comfort zone into the unknown feels like a rollercoaster of uncertainty. “One day when…” becomes a way to protect yourself from potential failure or rejection. It’s essentially like hitting the snooze button on your life. It convinces you that taking action can wait because some magical day in the future will be better suited for success.
But you’re not really doing “future you” any justice. You’re whispering promises of a better future while staying trapped in a cycle of unproductivity. As a result, your dreams gather dust on the shelf of tomorrow while you stay stuck inside your cozy cocoon.
Dreams are meant to be pursued, not postponed. When you attach your dreams to an elusive “one day,” they transform from something achievable to a far-away illusion. It disconnects you from your dreams, making them seem unattainable.
“One Day When…” Feeds on Fear
Fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of the unknown—the “One day when…” mindset thrives on these fears. Setting a vague future date for action offers temporary relief from confronting your fears head-on. But guess what: These fears never truly vanish until you face them.
The conditions will never be perfect, the circumstances might never feel ideal, and waiting for them only perpetuates inaction. Embracing the present means acknowledging the fear and choosing to take a leap forward anyway. When you live in the moment, you’re releasing the fear and accepting all that is your oh-so-human journey, even the messy parts.
Remember, you can have fears without them overshadowing today’s potential.
Happiness is a Companion, Not a Destination
Happiness and success aren’t destinations; they’re companions of your journey. Imagine happiness and success not as a far-off place you reach after a long journey, but as a companion walking beside you throughout your journey.
When you see happiness as a destination, you tend to postpone joy until you’ve achieved something. “I’ll be happy when I get that dream job, ideal body, or that perfect relationship.” But this mindset robs you of the happiness that exists in the present moment. By viewing happiness and success as a companion, you’re reminded to find the joy in small victories, the everyday moments, and the journey itself.
“Why Not Today?” Starts Now
Instead of saying, “One day when…” I want you to say, “Why not today?” It involves a powerful change in perspective and mindset, but it can also transform your life. It’s a gradual process, so be patient with yourself. Emotions might arise you hadn’t expected, and you’ll need to get accountable for some things you’ve been avoiding. But that’s the point, isn’t it?
Here are some tips that can help you make this transformation:
Identify your “One day when…” statements: Start by recognizing the areas of your life where you’ve been using the “One day when…” mindset. Be honest with yourself about the goals or desires you’ve been postponing.
Challenge your beliefs: Question the beliefs that underpin your “One day when…” statements. Are they based on fear, perfectionism, or societal expectations? Challenge these beliefs by seeking evidence that contradicts them.
Set specific goals: Transform vague aspirations into clear, specific goals. Break them down into smaller, actionable steps. When you have a plan, it’s easier to see that taking action today is not only possible but necessary.
Embrace imperfection: Acknowledge that waiting for perfection before taking action is a trap. Embrace the idea that progress is more important than perfection. Imperfection is a natural part of growth.
Shift your language: Pay attention to the language you use. Replace “One day when…” with “Why not today?” in your internal dialogue and conversations. A simple linguistic shift can have a powerful impact on your mindset.
Visualize the present: Imagine yourself actively pursuing your goals today. Visualize the process, the effort, and the satisfaction of making progress. The visualization can motivate you to take action.
Start with small steps: Overcome overwhelm by taking small, manageable steps towards your goals. These actions build momentum and create a sense of achievement that propels you forward.
Final Thoughts
Sharing your struggles, goals, and intentions with a mentor or coach can help you manage accountability and prioritize realistic timelines. Having someone who encourages you and holds you accountable makes a significant difference. To avoid rushing or putting added pressure on yourself, seeking mentorship can help you find the balance you seek to stay consistent.
My goal is to help you manage your fear of failure, recognizing that it’s a natural part of the journey. Instead of fearing it, I want you to view it as a valuable learning experience that can actually bring you closer to your goals. Together, we’ll direct your energy toward aspects of your goals you can control, instead of wasting your time fixating on factors outside your influence.
Acknowledge and celebrate every step you take, no matter how small. This positive reinforcement helps rewire your brain to associate action with joy and satisfaction—and that’s precisely what you deserve.
